I started the car and everyone piled in behind me. All the small rabbits bear cubs, spiders, mice, rats, a vertically challenged giraffe and rather small elephant. It looked like I just robbed a concession stand at an arcade.
“Where we goin’?” asked the rabbit.
“Off to get the Thanksgiving turkey.” I replied.
There was a collective, “Oooooh” from the back seat. The crew never had a proper Thanksgiving dinner and since they’ve slowly been finding their way into my house ever since the marshmallow incident I figured the least I could do is be a good host. I mean, where else were they all going to go?
“Where do we get a turkey?” asked one particularly reserved spider. He was one of the only ones who chose not to wear a costume on Halloween insisting he was Holiday Appropriate just as he was.
“Well, we go to the butcher and get one there. They have them frozen and fresh killed.”
There was the silence of an inky black night coming from the back seat.
The giraffe craned his neck to reach the front. “What does it mean, “fresh killed”?”
This was going to be a problem.
“Well, um….it means…um....there’s a turkey and the farmer has an…” I had nothing. There was a small army of All God’s Creatures in my back seat expecting a feast of epic magnitude and having no understanding as to who the star of the show was. I had the stuffing, the beans, the peas, the carrots, the onion casserole, the potatoes and the yams and all I needed was that succulent juicy turkey to make the day complete.
“So,” said the spider, “we’re going to get a turkey to bring home to have dinner with us? Well that’s very nice of you.”
“Well, no not exactly. You see we go to the butcher and –“
“Who is Butch and is he coming to dinner, too?” asked the elephant.
That Thanksgiving there was a feast of stuffing, beans, peas, carrots, onion casserole, potatoes, yams, two pepperoni pizzas, one calzone, two dozen rice balls and a bill from Vinny’s Pets for a 20lb. bag of seed , chicken wire fencing and one turkey, Phillip, who was very happy to be seated at the table instead of on it.
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